January 31st I will be off of Facebook. I'm pretty excited.
I used to love Facebook. I remember when it was exclusively for college students. I was so excited to sign up for Facebook when I received my college email address. This was back when there was a delay between when you signed up and when you were approved. It turned into a great way to connect with classmates and friends. It was better than email because everything was organized for you. And let's be honest, it was so much less creepy than Myspace. Which we were all on anyway. Because all the cool kids did it. Even though we secretly hated ourselves for it. Ugh. On to the more positive.
Facebook soon evolved to include everyone. This was super awkward because all of a sudden everyone's little sister could see all the garbage you were posting and the fact that you cussed slightly worse than a sailor.
Then there was tagging pictures. Not cute, done up pictures, either; No ma'am. We're talking those super classy, skanked out, drunk photos you didn't know were taken until they were on Facebook. I actually had a lecture in college where a professor said, "If you've shared pictures of your drunk escapades on Facebook, you might be in this slideshow. Due to Facebook being on the internet, I have used people's drunk pictures in this slideshow to demonstrate my points." It was funny until several classmates left the room in shame. Then it was hilarious. It was less hilarious when the school put people on probation because of Facebook evidence that showed them drinking underage or in dorm rooms. No bueno, friends.
When you finally learned, way too late, where the "Untag" button is, you were looking for a job. There are jobs now who search your Facebook account. I guess this bypasses the illegality of asking about your marital status and children. Heck, they can just check your Facebook. So then, you learned how to make your Facebook private. You even finally deleted that old, outdated Myspace account. Good for you!
Then, for whatever reason, you start working with kids, youth groups, tutor students, cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. Not little kids, teenagers. Teenagers who are way more tech savvy than you because that's the nature of the next generation. They are always technologically better off. I started learning to type in the second grade. My 18-month-old has a baby laptop. At any rate, these teenagers all have Facebook because, after all, it really is the top choice of communication and networking online these days. Why call someone when you can hit them up on their Facebook wall? Much less invasive. Inevitably, one of these teenagers you love so much comments on an old status or that one skanked out picture that you left up because you were having that good of a hair day that it was worth a little ridicule. Then you realize you must spend hours searching through your profile with a fine tooth comb to make sure you aren't the bad example.
Once you edited your entire profile that now misrepresents you entirely, all was going well. Yes, Facebook organized your friends from everywhere you've lived and visited, every crummy job you worked to get through college, every roommate you've had- even the super aloof ones you wouldn't recognize in a lineup.
It was a beautiful story. Until an election year when you began to hate 50% of your friends. We were all there. It was a poop storm.
In the days following the end of the election there was a glitch that made all of your so-called "Private Messages" public on your wall. When you found out about that, you found a new relationship with God, praying that no one had seen the real gem of an email you sent your best friend about your other best friend's fiance because it was just rude. But, come on, they were never going to work out anyway. You had never clicked "Remove Content" more times than on that glorious day.
In all honestly, I find a lot of value to Facebook. It's an excellent networking tool, particularly if you own a small business. It's great at organizing and keeping people in your life, but I think the days of trying to keep in touch with everyone I have ever met are in my past. I figure I have blog. I'll keep in touch with people via the blog and email. Which brings up another point- I used to use Facebook to promote my blog. This will be the last time I do that because it's not worth it to me. Frankly, it means a lot to me that people keep up with my blog, but I am not concerned with the visitor counter. I am super excited to know only the good things about my friends. I am excited to have my time back. And I am excited to not worry about the pornographic pictures that sneak into my home via Facebook. So. Sayonara, Facebook. It's been real.
I used to love Facebook. I remember when it was exclusively for college students. I was so excited to sign up for Facebook when I received my college email address. This was back when there was a delay between when you signed up and when you were approved. It turned into a great way to connect with classmates and friends. It was better than email because everything was organized for you. And let's be honest, it was so much less creepy than Myspace. Which we were all on anyway. Because all the cool kids did it. Even though we secretly hated ourselves for it. Ugh. On to the more positive.
Facebook soon evolved to include everyone. This was super awkward because all of a sudden everyone's little sister could see all the garbage you were posting and the fact that you cussed slightly worse than a sailor.
Then there was tagging pictures. Not cute, done up pictures, either; No ma'am. We're talking those super classy, skanked out, drunk photos you didn't know were taken until they were on Facebook. I actually had a lecture in college where a professor said, "If you've shared pictures of your drunk escapades on Facebook, you might be in this slideshow. Due to Facebook being on the internet, I have used people's drunk pictures in this slideshow to demonstrate my points." It was funny until several classmates left the room in shame. Then it was hilarious. It was less hilarious when the school put people on probation because of Facebook evidence that showed them drinking underage or in dorm rooms. No bueno, friends.
When you finally learned, way too late, where the "Untag" button is, you were looking for a job. There are jobs now who search your Facebook account. I guess this bypasses the illegality of asking about your marital status and children. Heck, they can just check your Facebook. So then, you learned how to make your Facebook private. You even finally deleted that old, outdated Myspace account. Good for you!
Then, for whatever reason, you start working with kids, youth groups, tutor students, cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. Not little kids, teenagers. Teenagers who are way more tech savvy than you because that's the nature of the next generation. They are always technologically better off. I started learning to type in the second grade. My 18-month-old has a baby laptop. At any rate, these teenagers all have Facebook because, after all, it really is the top choice of communication and networking online these days. Why call someone when you can hit them up on their Facebook wall? Much less invasive. Inevitably, one of these teenagers you love so much comments on an old status or that one skanked out picture that you left up because you were having that good of a hair day that it was worth a little ridicule. Then you realize you must spend hours searching through your profile with a fine tooth comb to make sure you aren't the bad example.
Once you edited your entire profile that now misrepresents you entirely, all was going well. Yes, Facebook organized your friends from everywhere you've lived and visited, every crummy job you worked to get through college, every roommate you've had- even the super aloof ones you wouldn't recognize in a lineup.
It was a beautiful story. Until an election year when you began to hate 50% of your friends. We were all there. It was a poop storm.
In the days following the end of the election there was a glitch that made all of your so-called "Private Messages" public on your wall. When you found out about that, you found a new relationship with God, praying that no one had seen the real gem of an email you sent your best friend about your other best friend's fiance because it was just rude. But, come on, they were never going to work out anyway. You had never clicked "Remove Content" more times than on that glorious day.
In all honestly, I find a lot of value to Facebook. It's an excellent networking tool, particularly if you own a small business. It's great at organizing and keeping people in your life, but I think the days of trying to keep in touch with everyone I have ever met are in my past. I figure I have blog. I'll keep in touch with people via the blog and email. Which brings up another point- I used to use Facebook to promote my blog. This will be the last time I do that because it's not worth it to me. Frankly, it means a lot to me that people keep up with my blog, but I am not concerned with the visitor counter. I am super excited to know only the good things about my friends. I am excited to have my time back. And I am excited to not worry about the pornographic pictures that sneak into my home via Facebook. So. Sayonara, Facebook. It's been real.
2 comments:
Basically, I love this post! It's so true...all of it! You're the best!
I found MySpace unbelievably tedious. But nothing like the invasiveness of FB. You might have been blinded by a home page and aurally invaded by horrible pointless waste of music but you never felt you were the product to be shorn of every scintilla of information that could possibly be inserted to a algorithm and sold to advertisers.
Post a Comment