White Halloween

Today I began doing some Halloween planning (Hey, I know it's August 31st, but I like to plan) for the Trunk-or-Treat happening at my ward.  I have been so very, very excited that I actually carted my fourteen-month-old-son to three different Halloween themed places to check out decorations and get ideas.  I also cruised around the toddler section to peruse for costumes for Baby (actually, I guess he is "Toddler" now, huh?  Ugh, why does that make me want to cry?)  I noticed something a little quirky.  Or sans-euphemism if you will, a little racist.

I'm looking through probably one hundred toddler costumes and not one. single. model. is African American.  Not one.  Out of the every costume in this particular store, I found one Asian female child.  That was the extent of the diversity.  I decided to look up some statistics (All taken from USA Quick Facts) on race in American:  

USA:

Asian                                       5.0 %

Hispanic                                 16.7 %

Black                                     13.1 %

White (not Hispanic)                63.4 %

South Carolina:

Asian                                       1.3 %

Hispanic                                  5.1 % 

Black                                     27.9 %

White (not Hispanic)                64.1 % 

I decided there was no way that Halloween Costume distributors were simply ignoring over 36% of the American population, so I took to the internet.  On Amazon, I searched for "Halloween Costumes" and scrolled through three pages before seeing an African American model (Incidentally, the costume was a pimp;  What kind of message does this send?).  

One logistically problematic occurrence is the net material provided in many of the Disney Princess costumes.  It's used to cover what would be exposed skin around the midriff, and every costume I've seen has one skin tone:  Caucasian. 

I then did the most logical thing I could think of:  I searched for Princess Tiana costumes.  I figured, Tiana is actually an African American Disney Princess- surely her costume models will be the same.  I am only slightly comforted that the models were not white (well, not all of them) because the model were so light-skinned.  I am not one for describing race, but most of the models looked mix-race at most.  A few had blond hair!  I mean, come on!  These two Tiana models, as cute and darling as these two little girls are, do not help the case for diversity.  

I would really like to know what is going on here?  Is there something I am missing?  This seems worthy of a letter writing campaign to stores and distributors.  What are your thoughts?

Our Summer Update (With two more southern summer months to go)

Ezra and I kicked off the summer by heading out to Aunt Courtney and Uncle Gary's wedding in St. Lucia.  We spent the week enjoying the sun and the beach.  Ezra particularly enjoyed the coconut ice cream as evident by the left overs on his face!  Before our vacation, Courtney and I decided to do all natural face masks made of different spices.  The masks worked really well except for one small, teeny detail:  it stained our faces yellow from the turmeric.  We looked like Oompa Loopmas for a few days following.  

 We have also been to a few Riverdog's Baseball games.   Ezra has a habit of making friends with the people behind us. And in front of us.  And who am I kidding?  Everyone around us.  This is a picture of him of Daddy's lap right after the seventh inning stretch.

Then came the birthday celebrations!

 This was Ezra's one year old cupcake at Grandma's house.

 And this is one last cupcake at Aunt Courtney and Uncle Gary's wedding reception.  I think we have a cupcake fiend on our hands.....

Today was a really awesome summer Sunday.  We spent the day at my mom's house, playing in her yard.  Ezra enjoyed exploring the rock pit and the watering can especially!  

Running around with Ezra is busy, busy, busy!

Ezra is up to something...  

This was a gift from Uncle Charles and Aunt Ellen.  THANKS!  He loves it.  

Ezra liked examining all of the rocks.  He sat for the longest time just digging through the rock pit around the grill.  Then he would place them in the watering can.  

Here's his rock collecting video.

He got incredibly dirty so I watered him either so he would grow or to get the dirt off.  Take your pick.  

Rocks in the watering can.

Concentration.

My mom's favorites.  Sorry Court, Sorry Clif.  We lost out :)

 All in a day's work.  It's not easy being me, but somebody has to do it!

Letter to a Friend

A dear friend of mine sent me a concerned email today about my relationship in the church and as a feminist.  This blog is an outlet for steam so often, I forget to include my positive feelings.  After some careful consideration, I have decided to post my response.  I think it's important to understand that I do consider myself solidly in this church.  


Hey Lady! It's good to hear from you!

I haven't stopped believing at all- In fact, quite the opposite, I find myself right now to be incredibly active. I believe in this Church- If I didn't, I wouldn't attack it; I would simply remove myself from it and dust off my hands.

My discrepancies mostly revolve around Mormon Culture. Here's a secret (okay, not so secret): I'm pretty liberal. While I don't fancy myself a Democrat (because I don't believe in binary politics), I'm VERY liberal as far as other Mormons are concerned.
There really hasn't been a point in the last three years that I haven't been Temple worthy, which to me means that I uphold the doctrine fairly well. However, I refuse to stand by while people judge me. I drink caffeine, wear shirts that sometimes show a little cleavage, watch the occasional rated R movie, and believe homosexuals should be able to marry. While all of these things make True Blue Mormons uncomfortable, they are not against what Christ taught. And they don't disqualify me from being Temple worthy. Ergo, I am fully active and in good standing.

I do not attend the Temple currently because it does not bring me peace. I have had some inner scuffles with my practices, wording, and teachings of the Church. I am currently trying (very hard, mind you) to bring peace through Christ to my life by finding joy in my work, keeping my home as a sanctuary from the world, and being the best mom I can be. I think Heavenly Father knows I am trying to please him, and He'll know when I am ready to take on more. For now, I take the basics one day at a time.

I do absolutely point out publicly (because that's the nature of a blog) when I think something has gone awry due to gender. I do this because it helps me to sort through my feelings, but also because if no one speaks up, nothing changes. Case in point: One time I went to a bishop distraught because in Sacrament Meeting it was very common for the Elders Quorum President to be referred to as "President" and the Relief Society President to be referred to as "Sister." That bishop said. "You're right; that should change." He explained that he never considered that "Sister" was below "President." Voila, change. It's small, but it matters.

Do I think there is inequality in the church? You betcha. Do I think it is fundamental? No. I think it has been created by the surrounding culture.

I hope this hasn't been too preachy or long! I'm really glad you asked, actually.

Love,
Blythe

What is Rape?

I think it goes without saying how I feel about Todd Akin and his remarks on rape and pregnancy.  However, if it doesn't, he's a total moron-  He should be given a class in sexual reproduction and rape awareness.  Clearly if a man of Todd Akin's age and status is so confused about the female reproductive system, comprehensive sex education should be in schools.  That is that.  Regardless of my personal beliefs, I don't get in to uproars about abortion issues because, call me naive, but I do not foresee access to abortion being overturned any time soon.  I just don't.  So why even bring it up then?  Because the tangential issue being discussed here is rape.  And I have VERY large and outspoken opinions about rape.

It seems to be a trend among republican candidates to define (or redefine*, as the case may be) rape as the gruesome, at knife point, stranger rape event that one usually sees on Law and Order SVU.  They show (cough.feign.cough) sympathy for the victims of such occurrences (usually termed "forcible rape").  When Todd Akin referred to this type of rape as "legitimate rape," he implied that any rape not fitting that particular description is not actually rape, this not deserving of the sympathy.  People are blithely unaware of what rape actually is and how often it occurs. According to Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN):

Rape is forced sexual intercourse including vaginal, anal, or oral penetration.   Penetration may be by a  body part or an object.

 Therefore, I made a list I believe everyone should read and know.  I encourage you to put your additions to the lists in the comments- for this specific sensitive topic I will allow anonymous comments so long as they are pertinent and not hostile.

Is it Rape (Yes, I realize the set up of this list is rather redundant, but for the sake of clarity, deal with it)?

1. If one party is not old enough to consent (this varies by state), it is rape.
2. If one party does not have the capacity to consent, it is rape.  Being without the capacity to consent includes but is not limited to:
• being drunk
• being intoxicated by drugs (prescribed or not)
• being asleep
• having a disability that interferes with mental capacity
3. If one party says no before the act, it is rape.
4. If one party says no or stop during the act and the act continues, it is rape.  
5. If one of the previous conditions has occurred but the victim is married to the assailant, it is rape.  
6. If one of the previous conditions has occurred but the victim is not female, it is rape.
7. If one of the previous conditions has occurred but the assailant is not male, it is rape.  
8. If one of the previous conditions has occured but the victim knows the assaulting person, it is STILL rape.  

Again, please feel free to list your own, "what is rape" statements in the comments.  The next installment will be more focused on the statistics of who is being sexually assaulted, who is doing the sexual assaulting, and the effects.  Stay tuned.

*I've heard of bills to redefine rape being introduced.  By men.  Seriously?  It boggles my mind that men feel so entitled to make decisions and create definitions surrounding issues in which the affected population is largely female.  I saw this quote by President Obama earlier this week:  "We shouldn't have a bunch of politicians, a majority of whom are men, making healthcare decisions on behalf of women."  

Humans of New York: A Little Bit of Everything

Another Humans of New York Favorite.  The caption read "I believe in a little bit of everything."

I think this is beautiful.  All religions are sacred.  Reverence and respect should be used in handling all spiritual beliefs.

Music of the Week

Ahhhh, this month has been so crazy (hence the lack of intellectual posting- don't worry, there will be some coming soon).  In lieu of an actual post, I'm posting some music I like right now.  Enjoy : )

"Chester's burst over the Hamptons"  ~Kishi 

Blow Me One Last Kiss  ~P!nk

New Post Secret (Mormon)

From this Sunday

Start August off right

...with a little Bell Hooks.