Monday, January 6, 2014

Rather Than Singing the Blues (Get Happier Tips)

Decrease stressful activities.  
Holy cow, life is so complicated these days.  There is schooling, extracurriculars, nutritious meals, politics to keep up on, family members to keep in touch with, diapers to change, bills to pay, lawns to mow, houses to clean, etc, etc, etc.  It's so much, and obviously, most of it includes worthwhile and necessary things.  However, maybe on a day when you are running between your Young Women's calling and getting the house fit to be a dwelling for humans, a bag salad with easy add-ins would be a preferable dinner to that five course masterpiece you were planning.  Perhaps the outside the home activities should be limited to the most desired instead of everything that ever seemed cool.


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Increase activities that release bad energy.  
Take a long bath.  Light some soy, anti-stress candles.  Drink herbal tea on the porch.  Do yoga.  Go for a walk.  Did you know that simply subjecting yourself to sunlight will promote happiness and motivation?  I was told by a friend long ago that you should do one activity everyday that could not be done quickly (He said this while eating sushi which may contribute to sushi being my de-stresser).  Increasing simple pleasures can decrease the fixation on hectic, unacheivable routes to "happiness."*



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Serve someone.  
Doing something for someone else can boost your happiness through a few avenues.  Taking time to concentrate on someone else will take your mind off of your ailments or troubles.  Helping someone who is having a harder time than you in particular will help you regain some perspective on your situation.  Happiness has little to do with reality but much more to do with something called the expectation gap.  As you can imagine, this refers to the difference in value between one's expectation and one's reality.



Cut out some of the screentime.
 Yes, screentime has scientifically been linked to depression and personality disorders.  We are social creatures, human beings.  We are engineered to need one another and to interact with one another in a human way.  Computers and televisions take away that socialization and humanity we get from other human beings.  Come on, John Donne, anyone?  No (wo)man is an island.


Focus on the good no matter how small. 
This is personal rather than scientific.  There are always going to be things that do not go how I would like.  Sometimes it's a string a little happenings, sometimes it is much, much bigger than that.  However, instead of focusing too much on the ills in my life (that sounds so dramatic), after due consideration of possible solutions, I move on.  I focus on other things- usually smaller things- that are good.  I had a fresh, clean towel after my shower this morning.  I filled up the gas tank earlier this week which means I don't have to do it now that it's really cold out.  My kiddo has been extra cuddly this week.


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Understand that change is inevitable.  
Embrace it.  Yes, change is unknown and can be scary, but chances are it isn't a bad thing, merely different.  If it is a bad change, the good news is that change is inevitable, and the tides will eventually change toward good.  My example:  Having a baby meant my life completely changed.  No more going out or making my own schedule.  No more solid focus on my daily whims. All I heard about babies was how my life was never going to be my own again.  Buckle up because my life was over.  It sounded horrible.  The reality is my kid is awesome, and I wouldn't go back to pre-kiddo for the world.  He does take up pretty much my entire life, but being his Mama is amazing.  



Keep your home manageably clean.  
At first you may think, Uh....didn't she just write to cut out the more stressful events of my life?  Cleaning and scrubbing does not equal happiness!  That is true, and please do not mistake this tip for encouraging your home to be pristine all the time.  I don't know that pristine is my home's vocabulary.  With that said, we have a deep rooted association between dirty and bad in our brains.  Stewing in an unclean home can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression.



Set a small, attainable goal.  
Attain it.  Nothing boosts my mood like an accomplishment no matter how small.



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Eat well.  
More specifically, eat foods that boost energy and mood.  Pineapple, almonds, and water are known energy boosters.  Walnuts, spinach, and chocolate are known mood boosters.  Avoid saturated fats and processed sugar.  They destroy moods.



Talk to someone.  
I don't mean this in a talk to a friend, parent, or spiritual leader type way.  Sometimes, we could all use some help.  If you can't shake those blues, there is absolutely no shame in talking through with someone who is a schooled and trained professional.  Wouldn't you rather learn how to make yourself happy than stay in a constant funk?



Hug someone. 



Accept help.  
Again, sometimes we all need some help, and often times our pride gets in the way.  Let others help.  Reach out to others-  let them know you need help.  "I need to talk," "I need to be distracted," "I need help focusing" are all phrases that are pretty specific that friends and family generally don't mind helping with.  



Meditate.  
Good air in, bad air out.  Think of nothing.  Let everything in your world go for ten minutes with no distractions.  Dedicate you meditation.  Or don't.  Recognize yourself as a person who needs ten minutes a day to re-center.  



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Attempt to see the lesson rather than the hurdle.  
Even typing this makes me feel like a jerk.  Nothing sucks more than someone giving you the old "Everything happens for a reason" speech.  And to be frank, I do not believe everything happens for a reason.  I think sometimes life is just a bully because it can be.  I do think that we can take something from each experience, even if all we take is empathy when we meet someone down the line in the situation we are now facing.



How do you lose your blues?



*I put happiness in quotes because I do not really consider hectic and unachievable routes to lead to real happiness.  On another note, I love the inappropriate use of quotation marks and am seriously considering a section on the blog dedicated to the public use of inappropriate quotation marks.

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