Hello love!
I've been doing a bit of light reading (catching up on your blog), and i have some thoughts: I have been thinking a lot about being a woman these days, and I think there is a vast empty canyon between "girly girls" and feminists. Why has it been so difficult for me to find my own balance? I think it is valuable and important to spend time painting your nails, because you should spend some time on yourself. I also think when it comes to "binders full of women" kind of issues we should feel confident enough to stand up and compete with men. Go take over those jobs ladies! (if you want them). If that means a power suit with shoulder pads, then do it.
UGH!! Why can't we (as women) be feminine and still command the respect we deserve from society? Can you imaging if a female CEO sat down at a board meeting and started breast feeding? The world may explode. But why? Why does one have to undermine or compete with the other? I am a hippie and a business owner who wants to wear red lipstick!!!
We get confused, and think being a girl and being a woman are the same thing. They are not. I've grown out of lip smackers* teen beat, and glitter eye shadow. It's time to grown up, embrace your curves, and take pride in being a woman. With sex appeal, education and ambition.
I have never felt like I was good at being a girl. I do like being a woman though. I am trying to re-invent myself a little bit. Even though I am uncomfortable sometimes, I am wearing red lipstick all the time. It makes me feel good, It makes a statement, and I think like Elizabeth Taylor says: Put on your lipstick, pour yourself a drink, and pull yourself together.
That was a lot, thank you for reading.
*note: you are never too old for lip smackers. I was only making a point. :)
My Red lipstick rocking friend :),
The short answer is that people are most comfortable with boxes. These boxes are incredibly limiting. It's also a tool used by people to make a group as small and unlikable as possible. Think about how many times you've heard the phrase "I'm not a feminist, but...." So many people don't want to be classified as feminist because anti-feminist push the image of unshaven, no make-up, buzz cut women who look more lumberjack than most men. And let's be honest, not many people enjoy having that image attached to what they stand for.
Personally, I think that's garbage. I always go back to the basic definition: equality between sexes and genders. I think the more diversity to support the cause, the better. One of my favorite pictures is one of a "Votes for Women" march. The women are dressed to the nines in their lace and big skirts with hoops in them. These are not "butch" women. These are ladies with an agenda. I say rock on red lipstick and whatever else makes you feel bold and your best self.I think another point you hit on was the difference between being a girl and a woman, and the cutesie make-up being different from the entire make-up (not just cosmetics, but everything that makes up a woman's outward appearance). I was reading in a book called "Cinderella Ate my Daughter" where it discusses how society and the media sexualizes girls from a very, very young age (think baby bikinis). Because of that, women are very good at displaying sexy but not internalizing sexy. Our "sexy" is a display rather than something we feel- I accredit much of this to society and the media's boxes of what we should and shouldn't be.
Why can't I buzz my hair and wear fake eyelashes and red lipstick? Because it conflicts with society's boxes. It's all or nothing. Except it isn't. That's just what you're made to believe.
Much love,
Blythe
4 comments:
Personally, I also think if someone feels good and beautiful wearing "cutesy" makeup, or wearing yoga pants, or shopping at Target and Bath & Body Works, or frequenting coffee shops, that doesn't make them less of a woman or less of a feminist. Feminism, when it comes down to it, should be about not judging. While this commenter made a lot of good points, she's saying not judge, all the while judging these other women who don't fit into her definition of what a strong, powerful woman looks like. As women, let's stop criticizing each other, even when we feel their appearances or actions may be damaging to womankind. It's not our place.
Just a couple of points.
On the breastfeeding. I think there's a difference between feeding your infant at a picnic and at a restaurant. While both are essentially the same, barring the open air aspect, the difference is one is eating the other dining. Excepting a very few places like that I truly doubt anyone cares one whit how you are dealing with that end, the other end though and we care very much.
'wear yoga pants to the coffee shop to shop off the gap between their thighs'. Might it not be that the tushie is a result of hours of effort at the gym and isn't really a statement at all. Well, not anymore a statement than any sprinter, rower, pole-vaulter anyway. Whenever I see a group of women dressed like that at a cafe my first thought is idleness. As in well educated, well fed, wealthy but with nothing to do. Your basic first world problem. You'd hardly see the same age cohort in the Latino community with the time to sculpt, hone and hew their form. Leastwise, not unless it would include long hours in some field.
As to Blythe's boxes, it would be a vast help were we not all too ready to jump into them long before anyone tries them on us.
Oh, on the re-invention. You might as well get used to that. Think of it as whittling.
I think that it is less the yoga pants wearing person and more the cultural push to make all women focus their looked around be this very specific type of cute is what is coming under condemnation. Not necessarily that it exists, but that the definition of feminine isn't more broad and varied. "Cutesy" make up to me sounds very infantilizing.
I really don't see how the fact that my thighs don't touch negates my feminist thoughts. Tearing down a woman because of how she looks (big, small, short, tall, ugly, beautiful) does not accomplish anything.
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