All blogging will resume in the new year.

**Cheers**

Making Way For Younger Leaders?

Nancy Pelosi answers pretty pointedly and with class when asked if she would step aside for younger leadership.  All those women behind her?  60 female representatives in the House.  Rock on.  

Feminists and Femininity

Hello love! 
I've been doing a bit of light reading (catching up on your blog), and i have some thoughts: I have been thinking a lot about being a woman these days, and I think there is a vast empty canyon between "girly girls" and feminists. Why has it been so difficult for me to find my own balance? I think it is valuable and important to spend time painting your nails, because you should spend some time on yourself. I also think when it comes to "binders full of women" kind of issues we should feel confident enough to stand up and compete with men. Go take over those jobs ladies! (if you want them). If that means a power suit with shoulder pads, then do it.
UGH!! Why can't we (as women) be feminine and still command the respect we deserve from society? Can you imaging if a female CEO sat down at a board meeting and started breast feeding? The world may explode. But why? Why does one have to undermine or compete with the other? I am a hippie and a business owner who wants to wear red lipstick!!!
We get confused, and think being a girl and being a woman are the same thing. They are not. I've grown out of lip smackers* teen beat, and glitter eye shadow. It's time to grown up, embrace your curves, and take pride in being a woman. With sex appeal, education and ambition.
I have never felt like I was good at being a girl. I do like being a woman though. I am trying to re-invent myself a little bit. Even though I am uncomfortable sometimes, I am wearing red lipstick all the time. It makes me feel good, It makes a statement, and I think like Elizabeth Taylor says: Put on your lipstick, pour yourself a drink, and pull yourself together.
That was a lot, thank you for reading. 
*note: you are never too old for lip smackers. I was only making a point. :)


My Red lipstick rocking friend :),
The short answer is that people are most comfortable with boxes. These boxes are incredibly limiting. It's also a tool used by people to make a group as small and unlikable as possible. Think about how many times you've heard the phrase "I'm not a feminist, but...." So many people don't want to be classified as feminist because anti-feminist push the image of unshaven, no make-up, buzz cut women who look more lumberjack than most men. And let's be honest, not many people enjoy having that image attached to what they stand for.
Personally, I think that's garbage. I always go back to the basic definition: equality between sexes and genders. I think the more diversity to support the cause, the better. One of my favorite pictures is one of a "Votes for Women" march. The women are dressed to the nines in their lace and big skirts with hoops in them. These are not "butch" women. These are ladies with an agenda.  I say rock on red lipstick and whatever else makes you feel bold and your best self.
I think another point you hit on was the difference between being a girl and a woman, and the cutesie make-up being different from the entire make-up (not just cosmetics, but everything that makes up a woman's outward appearance). I was reading in a book called "Cinderella Ate my Daughter" where it discusses how society and the media sexualizes girls from a very, very young age (think baby bikinis). Because of that, women are very good at displaying sexy but not internalizing sexy. Our "sexy" is a display rather than something we feel- I accredit much of this to society and the media's boxes of what we should and shouldn't be.
Why can't I buzz my hair and wear fake eyelashes and red lipstick? Because it conflicts with society's boxes. It's all or nothing. Except it isn't. That's just what you're made to believe.

Much love,
Blythe

Halloween Prep (End of the clean era)

Earlier this month I realized that I can probably say goodbye to the days of pictures of my cute, clean, prepped Ezra-  it's all sweat, dirt, and action from here on out.  We use sunshine and fresh air to help Ezra keep a loose sleep schedule.  This day, Ezra woke up late from his nap, so I knew he need a bit of fresh air to go to sleep at a decent hour that night.  I peeked out the window to see storm clouds rolling in.  You'd think the logical response would be to shrug off the park for the day, but not us.  I threw Ezra in the van, and we hightailed it to the park to eek in about fifteen minutes of hard core park play.  Note the sweat bead rolling down his forehead.   

We have been excited that Courtney and Gary have been around.  Ezra has really taken to his Uncle Gary.  He laid claim to his lap out of every seat in the living room.

And now, an onslaught of pictures....  

I call this Kiddo in a Basket

Not as big as Daddy yet

I made these Halloween cakes during our once a year
viewing of the Harry Potter movies

Playgroup picture.  

Since I was in charge of Trunk or Treat, I determined that we
MUST participate in the Pumpkin decorating contest.  

Ezra wanted to hold the pumpkin
(Don't tell him Daddy is helping!!)

Daddy teaching Ezra to paint with the designated paint markers.

Further decorating

Cleaned up for Trunk or Treat

An Argument for Sex Ed

I am through with election thoughts.  What's happened has happened, and I do not want to dwell on the outcome of the election.  So, let's talk about other controversy, shall we?  

I've mentioned before that I am 100% all about comprehensive sex education in schools.  I have been rebutted with "But what about my values?"  "I don't want my kid learning that in school."  "That's against my religious beliefs."  And so forth and so on.  

Easy solution:  then write a note that gets your kids out of that class.  It's that simple.  I hold the belief that harming animals, even in the name of science, is not okay.  The day in seventh grade when the class dissected frogs, do you know what I did?  I wrote a paper on frog anatomy without ever touching a knife.  I hear that it's a parents job, responsibility, and right to teach their children about their own personal plumbing and that of the opposite sex, birth control, and intercourse.  That's great, but many parents don't.  If you want to teach your kids, by all means, but why limit those who need it?  

Here are some quotes to illustrate why I think we need comprehensive, age appropriate sex education in schools.  

"If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."

~Todd Akin

Do we even need to discuss this one?  Hopefully, everyone in America now knows that the female body doesn't have ways of shutting it down.  In fact, 20,000 rape victims in a year couldn't manage to shut that down.  

(In reference to statutory rape leading to pregnancy) "I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way and I’d be open to hearing discussion about that subject matter."

~Steve King

Now he says he's open to discussion on this (Which kudos to him), but if Mr. King had a simple sex ed class he would know that sex can make a baby regardless of the female being underage or even related to the rapist.  

"There is no such exception as life of the mother, and as far as health of the mother, same thing, with advances in science and technology."

~Joe Walsh

Oh, Mr. Walsh, I assure you, many women die from complications with pregnancy, and there is just nothing that medical science can do about it.  So, while I respect your opinion about abortion which is yours to have, your information to back that up is simply incorrect.  

"If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything…That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be."

~Rick Santorum

Clearly Mr. Santorum missed more than a sex ed class if he thinks sex with a dog (that phrase is probably going to generate some interesting internet traffic....) is the same thing as sex with another human being.  Two consenting adults is simply not the same thing as the list he tries to equate it with.

It would be easier to swallow if these were not extremely educated and successful men.  But they are on both accounts.  Clearly these men were not taught comprehensive or accurate information.  Clearly they could benefit from a lesson or two.  The other thing that stands out to me is that every  person in opposition of comprehensive sex education is Pro-life.  Do you know what would cut abortions way, way down?  Knowledge and access to birth control.  Fewer unwanted pregnancies = fewer abortions.  Values need to be taught at home.  If you send your kid to school, then they should be given an accurate education.  They can then apply their values to the knowledge.  

I'll close with an example:  

1. Allen learns the Law of Chastity from his parents.  Meanwhile Lisa lives in a house where sex is not a topic of discussion ever.  Amber's parents taught her sex education themselves when they felt she was mature enough.
2. Allen and Lisa go to school and learn that a condom will prevent pregnancy when used properly during intercourse.  Amber's parents wrote a note to excuse her to the library during this portion of the class.  
3. Allen remembers the values his parents have taught him and decides to store that information for when he is planning his family with his wife.  Lisa uses a condom when having sex but does not get pregnant or an STD.  Amber still only has the knowledge her parents wanted her to have.
4. Winning situation.

Fighting Cancer with a Healthy Mind

Guest poster,
Melanie Bowen

Melanie Bowen: I joined the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance in 2011 as an awareness advocate for natural health and cancer cure initiatives. You will often find me highlighting the great benefits of alternative nutritional, emotional, and physical treatments on those diagnosed with cancer or other serious illness. I also assist in social media outreach in my efforts to spread awareness.

One area of health that is often overlooked and underestimated is that of our mental health. If you're facing cancer, your mental and emotional well-being can not only effect the path of your therapy, but literally guide you to the path to complete healing. Psychotherapy can be an extremely valuable asset in your survival or state of being as you go through your battle.

Some shrug these ideas off as superstition or nonsense. Statistics, however, say otherwise. There is much evidence that those who allow themselves to undergo some form of psychotherapy during their cancer treatment come out ahead of those who do not.

Cancer, no matter a non-aggressive strain or a fast moving type like mesothelioma, is a life altering and shattering experience. It's common and easy for an individual to slip in a mindset of believing that they are the only one in the world going through this situation.

This isn't the case. There are many programs available these days that can shed genuine light and breathe life and hope into the experience. One good example is that of Penn Universities "Authentic Happiness" program. Using honesty and kindness they help individuals come to peace and reality with their situation.

Most programs like this tailor their treatment to the needs of the individual, leaving no stone unturned to unlock a healing mind. You see; our minds are the healing centers of the body.

If a person has lost hope and given up, there's very little that any physiological treatment can do to help them that will not be eventually thwarted by their mind. A doubting mind will sabotage the healing efforts of the body.

Through psychotherapy many have found that they have been able to sync up the healing power of both the mind and the body and find great vision for further life. Instead of despairing for the present, they learn to look to the future with hope and determination.

Few people when faced with the formidable foe of cancer have, within themselves and by themselves, the capability of giving themselves hope. They need support. The support of dedicated friends and family is critical to survival. But what can take the healing process above and beyond is that of trained professionals to augment and guide to well-being.

Each person has within them the ability to aid in their own growth and healing. Despair does not need to be embraced and given into. There is more to life with cancer than the mere struggle to survive. With help, you can see beyond the pain into the life around that awaits you.

So, what are you waiting for? Go talk to someone who not only cares but knows how to help and can give you clinical advice on ways to relieve your stress. Whether your mind is bogged down from thoughts about your breast cancer treatment or maybe the strain from your mesothelioma diagnosis, go see a therapist and start bringing yourself the peace of mind it deserves!

Also check out Melanie Bowen at http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/melanie/

More Juicing

Beautiful Produce

It's now time for the second round of the Produce Co-op, and I am really excited!  Last time I worried about what I would use all the produce for, but it's actually been really cool.  I look up recipes that include a particular ingredient and then adjust the recipe for our eating needs (simple things like meatless crumble, brown rice flour, and vegetable broth substitutes).  It's been fun finding new ones to add to our repertoire.   

Homemade Apple Juice

 I have been trying to break my addiction to processed sugar, so  instead I have been allowing myself to have as much freshly made juice as my body wants.  It helps to curb  my craving for, oh, I don't know, an entire canister of frosting.  It's also nice to be able to have fresh juice for the baby.  When I think of the good things being done for both our bodies (with no added sugar), it's truly rewarding.    Baby and I have been juicing all kinds of things, some as simple as apple juice, some as complicated as the Mean Green.

On to some recipes....

Hidden Veggie
1 large apple
3 large Carrots (green cut off)
Half a skinned pineapple
1/4 inch ginger

Ice Cream Juice (Because that's what Hubby says it tastes like)
1/4 Cantaloupe
6 Strawberries


OCC

1/4 Cantaloupe

1 orange 

Dash of Cinnamon

This is a great way to start the day with a burst of vitamin C.  It's great even if you're not that into citrus (like me and Baby) because the cinnamon cuts the citrus so much.  I had no idea it would do that!

"Hey, Mom, I'm out of juice!"

Book Review of The Book of Mormon Girl

Yay!  I finished a book.  It seems I do that so infrequently lately, but yesterday during nap time I managed to finish Joanna Brooks' The Book of Mormon Girl.  I want to pick out a few specific points about the book that really touched me, but first, I'd like to write a little bit about how I first came across Joanna Brooks.
About two years ago, I finished my first Women and Gender Studies class.  I had just found out I was pregnant and knew that after my graduation, I would become a full time parent.  To keep my feminism alive and going, I decided to start this blog (Happy Birthday on the 17th).  I needed some extra information if I was going to take this on, however.  I mean, how many feminist Mormons could there be?  That's when Google led me to Ask Mormon Girl, Joanna Brooks' website where she answers questions like Dear Abby for Mormon progressives.  When I read her posts and responses to many questions I had myself, I felt so...  hopeful.  Maybe I could be a good church member and still be me.

Then I bought her book, The Book of Mormon Girl.  And it was amazing.  So much so that instead of writing a short review that discusses again and again how wonderful I thought it was, I am going to pull some quotes that I particularly enjoyed.  This does not summarize the book in any way because the post would go on for days.  These are simply my favorite take-aways.

"'You'll be fine,' Sister Bryson would say, sensing my fear that I had done it all wrong, read wrong, thought wrong, loved wrong, married wrong, lost my way.  'You'll be fine,' she would say, resting her hand on mine, 'because you are searching for truth, and truth is what matters.'"

Since converting, I have heard it from both sides of the fence why I am wrong.  Why I am in trouble.  On the non-Mormon front I am told I am letting this church dictate my life.  I am letting them tell me what I can and can't do, who I can and can't be.  On the Mormon side I am told I lack faith enough, love for my Savior enough.  I am told I lack knowledge and understanding.  There is often been little peace from either side.  As a convert, I felt, and sometimes still feel, that I do not have a spiritual home- religious, yes, but spiritual, no.  The loving words that Sister Bryson imparts, "You'll be fine...because you are searching for truth..." are the ultimate encouragement.  You're not a failed Saint.  

"It is not a doughnut.

It is not a rose.

It is not a plank of wood.

It is not a bus without brakes.

It is not a pearl on a golden chain, nor is it a millstone.

It is neither a fragile treasure nor a heavy burden.

It is nothing that can be damaged, lost, or given away.

It is not an it.  

You, your body, your self-you are not an object lesson.  

You are an ancient spirit in a young body.  You will make choices."

In the chapter leading up to this, Joanna Brooks recounts many of the object lessons taught to her as a youth.  My favorite was the one about the white rose.  She and her fellow Young Women passed around a white rose, smelling and touching it.  After everyone had a turn, the leader explained that everyone would prefer a new, fresh rose to the wilted one everyone had handled.  And thus it was also with your virginity.  I love that Joanna Brooks addresses the object lesson.  Life is so much more fluid and dimensional than a simple object lesson.  It is also a lot more personal.  From the gospel I was taught, you are never ruined with the atonement of Christ.  Rather, we learn from our mistakes and continue on trying to be better selves.    

"I hold my tongue, but I also hold my seat.  This is a church inhabited by people willing to give up their own children for being gay.  This is also the church of Millie Watts and the church of my grandmothers.  This is a church of tenderness and arrogance, of sparking differences and human failings.  There is no unmixing the two."

This gives me courage to stay seated in my classes when the point has gone awry.  I have heard from many people that a problem they see is that the lesson strays from Christ, and I agree.  When this happens- when we begin discussing wars and politics and superfluous thoughts that are not even tangential to Christ, I want to leave.  Not leave the room, leave the building.  In the first sentence, this quote reminds me not to be bullied (not by people and not by ideas).  Keep my seat. I belong here, too.  There is good and bad and we take it together.  

"I don't want to blame anyone.  I want to do what my ancestors did:  look west and dream up a new country for my children... I want a faith as welcoming as a Pioneer Day dinner table set with a thousand cream-of-chicken-soup casseroles and wedding-present Crock-Pots, a table with room enough for everyone:  male and female, black and white, gay and straight, perfect and imperfect, orthodox or unorthodox, Mormon, Jew, or gentile."

This final quote pulls out a Mormonism that I envision.  The wonderful things when Mormons come together with love and celebration (which is absolutely overflowing at celebrations).  The wonderful values seen in families.  The service when there are people in need.  Combine these with acceptance and room for everyone at the table.  Without judgment.  After all, isn't that what our Maker is for?  

This book gave me hope.  It made me feel like I still belong, unorthodox and all.  As far as a book review, I would recommend this to anyone who has grown up in the LDS church, anyone who has ever had a faith crisis, anyone who is grasping or clinging to a religion that felt like home. Five stars.

Juice Recipe (a new direction for the moment)

I have become tired lately of political posts.  I am getting my fill of understanding from The Book of Mormon Girl by Joanna Brooks that I strongly recommend everyone checking out, particularly if you've ever experienced a faith crisis.  Anywho, more on that later.

My sister came into town a while back.  With her she brought a tornado of healthy cooking and crazy good food.  To check out her cookbook (lots of gluten-free and super healthy recipes) click here.

I have been inspired.  I've decided to post some of my recipes for various things on this blog as well (I hope you weren't just here for my feminist blogging!).  I'm not a stickler for gluten free, but thanks to Sister's influence, I will have some gluten free items here.  Mostly I will be focusing on a pescatarian eating because I am a pescatarian.   Interesting enough, if you ask my husband what worried him most about marrying me he will tell you it was my lack of eating ground animals.  He will also very fervently tell you it has been no problem at all.  We have a very upfront and honest conversation about new meals before deciding whether to add them to our repertoire-  I think that's super important.

This week was the first week of a produce co-op I joined.  We had lots of produce, so I pulled out the juicer and started looking for recipes.  This has been one of the best thus far:

The Mean Green (serves 3-4)

14 Strawberries
1 inch of ginger
1 cucumber
4 handfuls of spinach
3 apples (without cores)
1/2 lime

The ginger gives it a good kick, so if you're not much for spice, adjust that accordingly.  This will be prettier when it hasn't been mixed up:  red with green.  However, it is yummier mixed all together, but beware, it will be an interesting color of green.  Enjoy!

Music of the Month Club

Time for this month's music choices (because I am still pretending I update my music every month.  Right...) have one thing in common, and that is I listen to them when I am a little down.  The first I listen to because I feel a little darker, the second to pick me up.  Enjoy!

Regina Spektor:  Hero

The Kilkennys: Galway Girl

Family Friendly Workplace Benefits Everyone

One of the arguments I hear often that does not support equal pay regardless of gender is that women are more likely to stay home with sick children, take maternity leave, work fewer hours, and not be as present because of their care taking duties.  First of all, putting that blanket scenario on all women is discrimination.  Second of all, men should be stepping up to be caretakers, too. Third, this is described as a choice, though if you're coming from many Christian backgrounds or traditional United Statian* families, it may not seem like such a choice.  In fact, in the scientific study of the life course, being a caretaker (whether for children, aging parents, and other unexpected circumstances) has several stages.  I would argue that being a caretaker is a choice just as everything in life is a choice.  Another choice to make is whether or not to wear the same underwear for a week straight.  There are consequences, but hey, it's a choice, right?

Anyway, that's not what I am here to write about (Anyone else hearing Alice's Restaurant in their head?  "And we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but that's not what I came to tell you about.  Came to talk about the draft."  If you don't get the reference, go Youtube Alice's Restaurant right now by clicking here.).

I came to write about making the workplace more family friendly.  Here are four suggestions of ways our workforce could become more family friendly:

1. Paid Maternity AND Paternity Leave:  This is so important so that Dad can bond with the newborn, but also logistically at home, particularly if there is more than one child in the house.  Caring for a newborn and other children after a Cesarean Section is even harder.  It is really necessary to have help, and shouldn't that help be from Dad?  It also allows fewer unfamiliar germs into the house.  I know one thing I obsessed over when Baby was first born was Hubby washing, washing, and scrubbing his hands when he came home from work.  This paid leave should also be guilt free.  No pressure from higher ups about this being inconvenient.  
2. Childcare Provided:  Not all employees would use it because of Stay At Home Parents (SAHP), a preference of a different childcare system, or the other parent using the childcare at their work facility.  This would allow both parents to work (I know this is not an LDS principle, but many families really need both parents in the workforce), while keeping the children nearby.  If the company is too small to arrange an actual child center of their own, they could provide other options with another facility.  It could be worked out.  I really believe this would solve so many of our poverty issues.  An added bonus is job creation.  
3. A Nursing Mother's Room:  it doesn't have to be over the top luxurious, but something private and quiet where a mother can pump every four hours.  This will cut down on leave taken to care for a sick baby because breastfed babies are sick way less often than their formula fed counterparts.  Breastfeeding also significantly reduces the risk of breast cancer, so that means fewer medical bills and less time away from work.
4. Adjustable Hours:  A work day could be from 7:00 AM until 9:00 PM, and workers could do whatever eight hour shift worked best for them and their family.  That could even include taking a six hour break somewhere in the middle if she or he preferred it.  That means less time taken away from work by appointments that can only be done during the day.  It means many more parents would be able to help out with schools.  

It is my belief that if we create a more family-friendly work environment, it would be easier to get back to those good old family centered values we're always hearing about while also creating equality and opportunity in the workforce.  Can you think of more ways to make the workplace more family friendly?


*Did you know in Central and South American they call people from the USA "United Statians" because they consider themselves to be Americans as well?  I think that's awesome.  

New Mormon Post Secret (if you really think about it)

While this may not strike you immediately as a Mormon Post Secret (and it very well may not be), Orson Scott Card is a Mormon, and that qualifies enough for the me post this secret.

To view my collection of Mormon Secrets click here.

Weird Connotation

Priesthood Does Not Equate Motherhood (And other thoughts)

Something that I hear often is that Priesthood is the equivalent of Motherhood.  I think that a concept like that diminishes the role of father. A father should be just as active in the raising of children as the mother.  Just as interested. Just as involved.
I was reading an article over here at Empowering LDS Women and enjoyed this chart:

The blogger then goes on to equate a woman's ability to give physical birth to a man's ability to give spiritual birth via the saving ordinances of the Priesthood.  However, that doesn't add up for me either.  Giving birth doesn't require a worthiness check.  It doesn't require an entire youth program to advance through milestones of separate "job well done"s like receiving the Aaronic Priesthood and the Melchizedek Priesthood.  Giving birth doesn't even require being a mother.  Likewise, being a mother doesn't require giving birth.  An adoptive mother is as much a mother as any other (Say that five time fast!).  So.  That explanation is a dead end.  

I would say that the only thing the Priesthood can be equated to is Priestess-hood (my online dictionary doesn't even recognize that as a word *sigh*).   It has been said to me that Priesthood is the most important duty of a man and that motherhood is the most important duty of a woman, but I am not the only person who disagrees with this.  President Ezra Taft Benson said, "We bring children into the world to become kings and queens, priests and priestesses for our Lord."*  That would imply that we (women) come here first and foremost to become priestesses.  I can live with that.  I can even live with the fact that our (women's) status of Priestess is not going to be realized in this lifetime, even though I don't understand why.  

What does actually bother me is the endless explanations of why it doesn't speak poorly of me to not have the Priesthood, pretending it's equal to some other aspect of my womanly life.  I am not two-  I don't need a made up explanation.  What bothers me more is the perceived inequity from small children when being explained that girls and women will never receive the priesthood.  

And it's not just that, the female youth are not nearly as celebrated or empowered as the male youth.  The Young Men go to all sorts of Courts of Honor, Eagle Scout Awards, Priesthood progressions, etc.  The Young Women do Personal Progress, but even that receives much less recognition than an Eagle Scout award.  

At one ward I attended, the Young Women were not allowed to feed the homeless because it was in a bad part of town and dangerous whereas the Young Men went once a month.  This in no way teaches equitable empowerment.  Quite the contrary.  It teaches them they are not as capable.  Fear shouldn't win.

I really believe if we started boys and girls off with the same amount of support, if we celebrated both sexes (and genders, but that's another issue) equally, if we empowered Young Women and Young Men, the whole issue of woman not having the Priesthood in this lifetime would be a non-issue.  

*From the talk Because I Live, Ye Shall Live Also

Summer Fun

We're trying to eek all the fun out of Summer that we possibly can these last few weeks of summer. We got our last beach trip in while Courtney was in town.  I was a little worried about the open beach and having a very active toddler, so I took the play yard out with us.  It was a bit of extra effort, but it was well worth it.  We set up the umbrella and a mat for Ezra and he went to town digging in the sand and filling the bucket.  I also got his final(ish) use out of this particular bathing suit.  That's the weird thing about kids to me-  they grow out of things so quickly and seasons change, so we can rarely use an outfit for more than a couple months. 

Because rainy days are so common in the summer, we have a plan B when we are going stir crazy in the house (Plan A being anything outdoors-  my mom says kids are like plants, needing water, sun, and dirt to grow properly).  That plan B is the play area in our local mall.  Apparently it's a meeting point for several playgroups.  Something interesting about Ezra is that he already likes to play with other children, not just alongside them.  Most children don't develop this social skill of thinking outside themselves until much later.  I'm kind of a proud mama on that front.  

Here's a video of him running around a bit at the play place.

Today, we went to the Riverbank Zoo for Ezra's first zoo trip.  Ezra seemed to really enjoy moving around in a new space and seeing all of the animals.  It was also not too hot, which made our entire party happy.  I still cover our little guy in SPF 50.  

Jason did a challenge course, climbing ropes  and other obstacles.  Here's at the very top in this picture.

 I think Ezra especially enjoyed feeding the animals.  The goats were more than happy to eat from our hands, as were the giraffes.  The video below is super cute, but taken after Ezra was starting to get tired.  He was a little unimpressed with the giraffe, but Jason and I were impressed enough for everyone!

 And as any fun-filled day, our ending looked something like this:

Humans of New York: I don't know yet

Another beautiful post from Brandon Stanton, creator of Humans of New York.  Click here to see my collection of favorite HoNY portraits.

"What's your favorite thing about your sister?"

"I don't know yet."

Remember, whether your sister or just another person you know, never stop looking for your favorite thing about her (or him).  

Division in the Ranks

Lately, particularly with the upcoming election, all I see is division.  Division between parties, division in parties, division in communities.  The two that hurt me most are division in church and division in feminist communities.  And while I expected it at church, I don't find a speech about why we currently need to go to war on Israel's behalf to be relevant to the scriptures.  There's probably a reason the First Presidency has asked us to keep politics out of our meetings.

At any rate, before all the election hullabaloo, I would see discussion of ideas.  It's human nature (Every time I use that phrase I start singing,  Why, why?  Tell 'em that it's human nature...) to disagree.  Who can say that her beliefs are 100% congruent with someone else she knows?  Certainly not me.   When my sister came to town (Look out for the post "When Sister Comes to Town"), we had many discussions, and we surely do not agree on everything.  However, the discussions gave us opportunities to learn about where we each stood and possibly gain new insight.  Possibly my favorite Humans of New York posting of all time is this one in which a girl is advised to read books by people who disagree with her.  Well, my recommendation is similar.  Talk to people to who disagree with you, and while you're talking, listen, too.  Even if your opinions don't change, you will learn so much.

As a feminist, I have gone through different phases-  just look through this blog.  In two years of writing, my feminism has morphed drastically.  I actually read posts I have written and consider taking them down because they are no longer an accurate depiction of what I believe.  I don't mostly because I find it uniquely interesting to read my progression thus far.

More to the point, there was a time I believed make up was a sign of submission and shaving your legs was selling yourself out (I can still argue this point, I just don't buy into it anymore).  I feel like (some) feminists have this ideal feminist in their minds that if you, as a woman, are not trying to be, well then you are not part of the feminist club.  Instead of discussing, I feel like there is a feminist dictating what I should be as a feminist, and really how is that any better than a men calling the shots?

I still feel feminist shame that I am pro-Life (any discussion related to this should be done privately because I refuse to be ganged up on when discussing this).  I painted my nails the other day and thought, Ooh, my feminism is getting rusty.   But it's not.  Somehow, I have to reconcile that being society prescribed feminine does not mean I am not a good feminist. In the words of Jessica Valenti, "It's all about the consciousness of your decisions."

The more we qualify what a feminist must be and tear one another down, the more we will those dreaded words: I am not a feminist, but...

And those are not the words by which I want the Third Wave to end.

The Language of Debate

I saw this meme posted on Facebook a few days ago and it made me angry and hurt.  

STOP:  This post is not in any way, shape, or form to argue about the money aspect of this issue.  This post is NOT about to talk about whether birth control should be free or not.  

The part about this meme that gets to me is the "or" part: "Or you're a party favor."

I agree that this is a topic worth discussing.  People have strong, contrasting, and albeit, valid arguments on both sides of table.  However, people need to construct arguments that are based on the issue rather than name calling.

These are the type of comments that were left on this Facebook meme (yes, I realize I left their full names out there.  Facebook is a public place, so I don't feel bad associating their names with their opinions on the internet).

Nancy Landeros Get your johns to pay for this service. I dont hear prostitutes asking for us to pay for their party toys

Caro Verdugo as a typical dem, she is way too unattractive for anyone to spend money on her

Charles Nungester A busy hooker wouldn't need that much

Ryan Davis Sandra, contraceptives won't fix being ugly ya know?

Candy L. Wiersema Actually, Rush was wrong on this one. A slut does anyone for free, a whore wants to get paid. So, I submit, she's a whore

You can see a full list of the comments here as there are too many to list and some that are simply too vulgar.

The flip side of this is that men in political debates are seldom (I know it happens, but far less than to women) attacked like this.  If a man makes a statement with which people disagree, no one says, "Yeah?  Well he's ugly!"  or "He's a -insert male version of whore here."  News flash:  a person's looks and sexual activity are irrelevant in an argument.  Perhaps a focus on the issue at hand would be more useful.

Oh wait, there is no male version of the word whore.  You may be thinking about the word "gigolo," so let me ask you, when was the last time you heard someone actually use that word as an insult?  Let's play a game.  Make a list of all the insults you can call a woman.  I'll keep it clean  on here because this is, after all, read by lots of LDS members- and my in-laws who are probably horrified already at the language I have allowed on this blog (Sorry, ya'll).   Now make a list of insults you can call a man.  Compare and contrast.

Chances are you have a ton more of the female list.  Chances are the majority on the list for men challenge their sexuality by suggesting some kind of female quality to them. I have written them out several times here, but I can't bring myself to actually publish them.  If you have questions privately, feel free to email me.

But let's go back to the insults about Sandra Fluke.  These are not teenagers making these comments, spewing these names.  These are grown adults-  shouldn't they know better how to make an intelligent and concise argument?  One would think, but evidence shows otherwise.  It makes me think of a playground situation where two kids are fighting about the ownership of a toy, when one of them stands up and says, "Well, you're ugly!"
Grow up and cut that garbage out.  It didn't solve anything then, and it doesn't solve anything now.

A reminder for comment civility

My husband says to just let this go because if I keep thinking about it, I'll make myself crazy.  He thinks if I am going to put myself out there on a public and controversial blog, I need to develop thicker skin.  And I know he is absolutely right.

That's why I am not lining up the time stamp with the map hit from the comment I received today.  I will simply reiterate my comment policy, which is that I will not post any comment that is hurtful, disrespectful, or make personal accusations-  particularly from an anonymous comment-er-  there is only one person I can imagine that I deserve that from, and he is too classy to do that.  Anonymous comments will be under extra scrutiny due to not revealing their identity.  Guerrilla warfare is cowardly, not appreciated on this blog, and will not be posted.

I am always open for a personal conversation about anything, including but not limited to my religious beliefs, my past choices, my current choices and life style, and world issues (mostly current because I am not much of a historian) at my email address which is jlbmcc@gmail.com.  The proverbial door is always open, even if you disagree with my choices.

Lastly, I would like to really thank the people that have shown me so much love over the past two years and have come out and shared opinions, beliefs, and comments.  Ya'll are really amazing!  Thank you so much!

White Halloween

Today I began doing some Halloween planning (Hey, I know it's August 31st, but I like to plan) for the Trunk-or-Treat happening at my ward.  I have been so very, very excited that I actually carted my fourteen-month-old-son to three different Halloween themed places to check out decorations and get ideas.  I also cruised around the toddler section to peruse for costumes for Baby (actually, I guess he is "Toddler" now, huh?  Ugh, why does that make me want to cry?)  I noticed something a little quirky.  Or sans-euphemism if you will, a little racist.

I'm looking through probably one hundred toddler costumes and not one. single. model. is African American.  Not one.  Out of the every costume in this particular store, I found one Asian female child.  That was the extent of the diversity.  I decided to look up some statistics (All taken from USA Quick Facts) on race in American:  

USA:

Asian                                       5.0 %

Hispanic                                 16.7 %

Black                                     13.1 %

White (not Hispanic)                63.4 %

South Carolina:

Asian                                       1.3 %

Hispanic                                  5.1 % 

Black                                     27.9 %

White (not Hispanic)                64.1 % 

I decided there was no way that Halloween Costume distributors were simply ignoring over 36% of the American population, so I took to the internet.  On Amazon, I searched for "Halloween Costumes" and scrolled through three pages before seeing an African American model (Incidentally, the costume was a pimp;  What kind of message does this send?).  

One logistically problematic occurrence is the net material provided in many of the Disney Princess costumes.  It's used to cover what would be exposed skin around the midriff, and every costume I've seen has one skin tone:  Caucasian. 

I then did the most logical thing I could think of:  I searched for Princess Tiana costumes.  I figured, Tiana is actually an African American Disney Princess- surely her costume models will be the same.  I am only slightly comforted that the models were not white (well, not all of them) because the model were so light-skinned.  I am not one for describing race, but most of the models looked mix-race at most.  A few had blond hair!  I mean, come on!  These two Tiana models, as cute and darling as these two little girls are, do not help the case for diversity.  

I would really like to know what is going on here?  Is there something I am missing?  This seems worthy of a letter writing campaign to stores and distributors.  What are your thoughts?

Our Summer Update (With two more southern summer months to go)

Ezra and I kicked off the summer by heading out to Aunt Courtney and Uncle Gary's wedding in St. Lucia.  We spent the week enjoying the sun and the beach.  Ezra particularly enjoyed the coconut ice cream as evident by the left overs on his face!  Before our vacation, Courtney and I decided to do all natural face masks made of different spices.  The masks worked really well except for one small, teeny detail:  it stained our faces yellow from the turmeric.  We looked like Oompa Loopmas for a few days following.  

 We have also been to a few Riverdog's Baseball games.   Ezra has a habit of making friends with the people behind us. And in front of us.  And who am I kidding?  Everyone around us.  This is a picture of him of Daddy's lap right after the seventh inning stretch.

Then came the birthday celebrations!

 This was Ezra's one year old cupcake at Grandma's house.

 And this is one last cupcake at Aunt Courtney and Uncle Gary's wedding reception.  I think we have a cupcake fiend on our hands.....

Today was a really awesome summer Sunday.  We spent the day at my mom's house, playing in her yard.  Ezra enjoyed exploring the rock pit and the watering can especially!  

Running around with Ezra is busy, busy, busy!

Ezra is up to something...  

This was a gift from Uncle Charles and Aunt Ellen.  THANKS!  He loves it.  

Ezra liked examining all of the rocks.  He sat for the longest time just digging through the rock pit around the grill.  Then he would place them in the watering can.  

Here's his rock collecting video.

He got incredibly dirty so I watered him either so he would grow or to get the dirt off.  Take your pick.  

Rocks in the watering can.

Concentration.

My mom's favorites.  Sorry Court, Sorry Clif.  We lost out :)

 All in a day's work.  It's not easy being me, but somebody has to do it!