Making Way For Younger Leaders?

Nancy Pelosi answers pretty pointedly and with class when asked if she would step aside for younger leadership.  All those women behind her?  60 female representatives in the House.  Rock on.  

Feminists and Femininity

Hello love! 
I've been doing a bit of light reading (catching up on your blog), and i have some thoughts: I have been thinking a lot about being a woman these days, and I think there is a vast empty canyon between "girly girls" and feminists. Why has it been so difficult for me to find my own balance? I think it is valuable and important to spend time painting your nails, because you should spend some time on yourself. I also think when it comes to "binders full of women" kind of issues we should feel confident enough to stand up and compete with men. Go take over those jobs ladies! (if you want them). If that means a power suit with shoulder pads, then do it.
UGH!! Why can't we (as women) be feminine and still command the respect we deserve from society? Can you imaging if a female CEO sat down at a board meeting and started breast feeding? The world may explode. But why? Why does one have to undermine or compete with the other? I am a hippie and a business owner who wants to wear red lipstick!!!
We get confused, and think being a girl and being a woman are the same thing. They are not. I've grown out of lip smackers* teen beat, and glitter eye shadow. It's time to grown up, embrace your curves, and take pride in being a woman. With sex appeal, education and ambition.
I have never felt like I was good at being a girl. I do like being a woman though. I am trying to re-invent myself a little bit. Even though I am uncomfortable sometimes, I am wearing red lipstick all the time. It makes me feel good, It makes a statement, and I think like Elizabeth Taylor says: Put on your lipstick, pour yourself a drink, and pull yourself together.
That was a lot, thank you for reading. 
*note: you are never too old for lip smackers. I was only making a point. :)


My Red lipstick rocking friend :),
The short answer is that people are most comfortable with boxes. These boxes are incredibly limiting. It's also a tool used by people to make a group as small and unlikable as possible. Think about how many times you've heard the phrase "I'm not a feminist, but...." So many people don't want to be classified as feminist because anti-feminist push the image of unshaven, no make-up, buzz cut women who look more lumberjack than most men. And let's be honest, not many people enjoy having that image attached to what they stand for.
Personally, I think that's garbage. I always go back to the basic definition: equality between sexes and genders. I think the more diversity to support the cause, the better. One of my favorite pictures is one of a "Votes for Women" march. The women are dressed to the nines in their lace and big skirts with hoops in them. These are not "butch" women. These are ladies with an agenda.  I say rock on red lipstick and whatever else makes you feel bold and your best self.
I think another point you hit on was the difference between being a girl and a woman, and the cutesie make-up being different from the entire make-up (not just cosmetics, but everything that makes up a woman's outward appearance). I was reading in a book called "Cinderella Ate my Daughter" where it discusses how society and the media sexualizes girls from a very, very young age (think baby bikinis). Because of that, women are very good at displaying sexy but not internalizing sexy. Our "sexy" is a display rather than something we feel- I accredit much of this to society and the media's boxes of what we should and shouldn't be.
Why can't I buzz my hair and wear fake eyelashes and red lipstick? Because it conflicts with society's boxes. It's all or nothing. Except it isn't. That's just what you're made to believe.

Much love,
Blythe

Halloween Prep (End of the clean era)

Earlier this month I realized that I can probably say goodbye to the days of pictures of my cute, clean, prepped Ezra-  it's all sweat, dirt, and action from here on out.  We use sunshine and fresh air to help Ezra keep a loose sleep schedule.  This day, Ezra woke up late from his nap, so I knew he need a bit of fresh air to go to sleep at a decent hour that night.  I peeked out the window to see storm clouds rolling in.  You'd think the logical response would be to shrug off the park for the day, but not us.  I threw Ezra in the van, and we hightailed it to the park to eek in about fifteen minutes of hard core park play.  Note the sweat bead rolling down his forehead.   

We have been excited that Courtney and Gary have been around.  Ezra has really taken to his Uncle Gary.  He laid claim to his lap out of every seat in the living room.

And now, an onslaught of pictures....  

I call this Kiddo in a Basket

Not as big as Daddy yet

I made these Halloween cakes during our once a year
viewing of the Harry Potter movies

Playgroup picture.  

Since I was in charge of Trunk or Treat, I determined that we
MUST participate in the Pumpkin decorating contest.  

Ezra wanted to hold the pumpkin
(Don't tell him Daddy is helping!!)

Daddy teaching Ezra to paint with the designated paint markers.

Further decorating

Cleaned up for Trunk or Treat

An Argument for Sex Ed

I am through with election thoughts.  What's happened has happened, and I do not want to dwell on the outcome of the election.  So, let's talk about other controversy, shall we?  

I've mentioned before that I am 100% all about comprehensive sex education in schools.  I have been rebutted with "But what about my values?"  "I don't want my kid learning that in school."  "That's against my religious beliefs."  And so forth and so on.  

Easy solution:  then write a note that gets your kids out of that class.  It's that simple.  I hold the belief that harming animals, even in the name of science, is not okay.  The day in seventh grade when the class dissected frogs, do you know what I did?  I wrote a paper on frog anatomy without ever touching a knife.  I hear that it's a parents job, responsibility, and right to teach their children about their own personal plumbing and that of the opposite sex, birth control, and intercourse.  That's great, but many parents don't.  If you want to teach your kids, by all means, but why limit those who need it?  

Here are some quotes to illustrate why I think we need comprehensive, age appropriate sex education in schools.  

"If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."

~Todd Akin

Do we even need to discuss this one?  Hopefully, everyone in America now knows that the female body doesn't have ways of shutting it down.  In fact, 20,000 rape victims in a year couldn't manage to shut that down.  

(In reference to statutory rape leading to pregnancy) "I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way and I’d be open to hearing discussion about that subject matter."

~Steve King

Now he says he's open to discussion on this (Which kudos to him), but if Mr. King had a simple sex ed class he would know that sex can make a baby regardless of the female being underage or even related to the rapist.  

"There is no such exception as life of the mother, and as far as health of the mother, same thing, with advances in science and technology."

~Joe Walsh

Oh, Mr. Walsh, I assure you, many women die from complications with pregnancy, and there is just nothing that medical science can do about it.  So, while I respect your opinion about abortion which is yours to have, your information to back that up is simply incorrect.  

"If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything…That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be."

~Rick Santorum

Clearly Mr. Santorum missed more than a sex ed class if he thinks sex with a dog (that phrase is probably going to generate some interesting internet traffic....) is the same thing as sex with another human being.  Two consenting adults is simply not the same thing as the list he tries to equate it with.

It would be easier to swallow if these were not extremely educated and successful men.  But they are on both accounts.  Clearly these men were not taught comprehensive or accurate information.  Clearly they could benefit from a lesson or two.  The other thing that stands out to me is that every  person in opposition of comprehensive sex education is Pro-life.  Do you know what would cut abortions way, way down?  Knowledge and access to birth control.  Fewer unwanted pregnancies = fewer abortions.  Values need to be taught at home.  If you send your kid to school, then they should be given an accurate education.  They can then apply their values to the knowledge.  

I'll close with an example:  

1. Allen learns the Law of Chastity from his parents.  Meanwhile Lisa lives in a house where sex is not a topic of discussion ever.  Amber's parents taught her sex education themselves when they felt she was mature enough.
2. Allen and Lisa go to school and learn that a condom will prevent pregnancy when used properly during intercourse.  Amber's parents wrote a note to excuse her to the library during this portion of the class.  
3. Allen remembers the values his parents have taught him and decides to store that information for when he is planning his family with his wife.  Lisa uses a condom when having sex but does not get pregnant or an STD.  Amber still only has the knowledge her parents wanted her to have.
4. Winning situation.

Fighting Cancer with a Healthy Mind

Guest poster,
Melanie Bowen

Melanie Bowen: I joined the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance in 2011 as an awareness advocate for natural health and cancer cure initiatives. You will often find me highlighting the great benefits of alternative nutritional, emotional, and physical treatments on those diagnosed with cancer or other serious illness. I also assist in social media outreach in my efforts to spread awareness.

One area of health that is often overlooked and underestimated is that of our mental health. If you're facing cancer, your mental and emotional well-being can not only effect the path of your therapy, but literally guide you to the path to complete healing. Psychotherapy can be an extremely valuable asset in your survival or state of being as you go through your battle.

Some shrug these ideas off as superstition or nonsense. Statistics, however, say otherwise. There is much evidence that those who allow themselves to undergo some form of psychotherapy during their cancer treatment come out ahead of those who do not.

Cancer, no matter a non-aggressive strain or a fast moving type like mesothelioma, is a life altering and shattering experience. It's common and easy for an individual to slip in a mindset of believing that they are the only one in the world going through this situation.

This isn't the case. There are many programs available these days that can shed genuine light and breathe life and hope into the experience. One good example is that of Penn Universities "Authentic Happiness" program. Using honesty and kindness they help individuals come to peace and reality with their situation.

Most programs like this tailor their treatment to the needs of the individual, leaving no stone unturned to unlock a healing mind. You see; our minds are the healing centers of the body.

If a person has lost hope and given up, there's very little that any physiological treatment can do to help them that will not be eventually thwarted by their mind. A doubting mind will sabotage the healing efforts of the body.

Through psychotherapy many have found that they have been able to sync up the healing power of both the mind and the body and find great vision for further life. Instead of despairing for the present, they learn to look to the future with hope and determination.

Few people when faced with the formidable foe of cancer have, within themselves and by themselves, the capability of giving themselves hope. They need support. The support of dedicated friends and family is critical to survival. But what can take the healing process above and beyond is that of trained professionals to augment and guide to well-being.

Each person has within them the ability to aid in their own growth and healing. Despair does not need to be embraced and given into. There is more to life with cancer than the mere struggle to survive. With help, you can see beyond the pain into the life around that awaits you.

So, what are you waiting for? Go talk to someone who not only cares but knows how to help and can give you clinical advice on ways to relieve your stress. Whether your mind is bogged down from thoughts about your breast cancer treatment or maybe the strain from your mesothelioma diagnosis, go see a therapist and start bringing yourself the peace of mind it deserves!

Also check out Melanie Bowen at http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/melanie/