The Language of Debate

I saw this meme posted on Facebook a few days ago and it made me angry and hurt.  

STOP:  This post is not in any way, shape, or form to argue about the money aspect of this issue.  This post is NOT about to talk about whether birth control should be free or not.  

The part about this meme that gets to me is the "or" part: "Or you're a party favor."

I agree that this is a topic worth discussing.  People have strong, contrasting, and albeit, valid arguments on both sides of table.  However, people need to construct arguments that are based on the issue rather than name calling.

These are the type of comments that were left on this Facebook meme (yes, I realize I left their full names out there.  Facebook is a public place, so I don't feel bad associating their names with their opinions on the internet).

Nancy Landeros Get your johns to pay for this service. I dont hear prostitutes asking for us to pay for their party toys

Caro Verdugo as a typical dem, she is way too unattractive for anyone to spend money on her

Charles Nungester A busy hooker wouldn't need that much

Ryan Davis Sandra, contraceptives won't fix being ugly ya know?

Candy L. Wiersema Actually, Rush was wrong on this one. A slut does anyone for free, a whore wants to get paid. So, I submit, she's a whore

You can see a full list of the comments here as there are too many to list and some that are simply too vulgar.

The flip side of this is that men in political debates are seldom (I know it happens, but far less than to women) attacked like this.  If a man makes a statement with which people disagree, no one says, "Yeah?  Well he's ugly!"  or "He's a -insert male version of whore here."  News flash:  a person's looks and sexual activity are irrelevant in an argument.  Perhaps a focus on the issue at hand would be more useful.

Oh wait, there is no male version of the word whore.  You may be thinking about the word "gigolo," so let me ask you, when was the last time you heard someone actually use that word as an insult?  Let's play a game.  Make a list of all the insults you can call a woman.  I'll keep it clean  on here because this is, after all, read by lots of LDS members- and my in-laws who are probably horrified already at the language I have allowed on this blog (Sorry, ya'll).   Now make a list of insults you can call a man.  Compare and contrast.

Chances are you have a ton more of the female list.  Chances are the majority on the list for men challenge their sexuality by suggesting some kind of female quality to them. I have written them out several times here, but I can't bring myself to actually publish them.  If you have questions privately, feel free to email me.

But let's go back to the insults about Sandra Fluke.  These are not teenagers making these comments, spewing these names.  These are grown adults-  shouldn't they know better how to make an intelligent and concise argument?  One would think, but evidence shows otherwise.  It makes me think of a playground situation where two kids are fighting about the ownership of a toy, when one of them stands up and says, "Well, you're ugly!"
Grow up and cut that garbage out.  It didn't solve anything then, and it doesn't solve anything now.

Oh, Rush.

Just a little Rush Limbaugh retort to start the week off right.  

8 rights for which feminists fight

When I wrote my prior article, Gender and Politics, I was asked by many exactly what rights feminists are seeking.  Yes, many refuted the wage gap, and one even sarcastically referred to his handy copy of the US Constitution.  Well, my dears, sit back and enjoy because sometimes what is more important are the things that go unmentioned.  This is a list I have compiled of some of the rights for which feminists fight. 

1.  The right for females to have any job males can have (including in the military- yay women on submarines!).

2.  The right to not be sexually harassed at the place of employment (because while this is not exclusively done to females, the VAST majority of sexually based harassment is done to a female).

3.  The right to not be a victim of domestic violence.  Did you know in the state of South Carolina that in the same year that cock fighting became a felony, a bill to make domestic violence a felony was as well on the table and it didn't pass?  And again, I know this is not only a female problem, but 95% of domestic violence is against women.  Feel free to research this topic in Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti. 

4.  The right to informed decisions about birth control (this is an issue for both men and women).  Also, on that note, many women are fighting to keep their pro-choice option as this seems to be constantly on the table for question.  Worth mentioning is that I am actually pro life, and while most feminists would denounce me as a true feminist, many would not.  There are many breeds of feminism. 

5.  The right to not be put on certain tracks in school due to age, sex, race, ethnicity, etc.  Tracking women in specific classes (avoiding STEM subjects) creates job segregation.  Jobs that are comprised of mainly women are generally paid less.  Feel free to take a closer look at this in Understanding Race, Class, Gender, and Sexuality: A Conceptual Framework by Lyn Weber.

6.  The right to not be devalued with age.  While ageism is real for both men and women later in life, it begins VERY early for women.  Women are constantly infantilized because younger and more innocent is better.  Take one look at any magazine and advertisement, and I think you'll see what I mean. 

7.  The right to not be stigmatized for being pregnant and unwed.  Men don't have that problem and neither should women.  Being pregnant and single should not keep a woman from any government job- because men aren't asked about their kids and spousal relationships prior to employment.

8.  The right to not be revictimized for being raped.  One will often here that she was asking for it by her manner of dress, the neighborhood she was in, the late hour she was out, or the mental state she was in.   I call BS (for all you LDS out there, I mean Bologna Sandwich :).  If someone says no the answer is no regardless of ANY other conditions of the event.  The conviction rate of rape is in the single digits (~6%)-  please check out this and other rape statistics here.

Thoughts on Abstinence-Only Education

My disclaimer is that I know that my ideas are controversial.

I respectfully say this: Get. Over. It.  

Abstinence Only education is a big thing down here in the south.  The big argument I have heard is "How can you teach kids not to have sex while handing them a condom?"  I have also heard arguments that say schools don't have the time and funding to teach sex education.  Again, cut that garbage out.

Here is my stance:  I think family values are a great thing.  I support not having sex until you are married.  Yay being chaste.  However, family values are just that:  values within a particular family.  NOT society.  Not everyone has the ideal family where sex can be discussed safely.  My aunt is a school nurse, and the other day we had a laugh riot discussing the names given to different sex organs by parents of children.   

All joking aside, it is incredibly important for children starting at a young age to learn the proper names of their anatomy.  Child molestation is real, okay?  I understand you don't want your four-year-old to understand exactly how your marriage bed works, but she needs to be able to tell you exactly how she might have been innappropriately touched. 

I have heard the idea that "If my child needs to know it, I'll teach it."  Well, guess what.  Not all parents will.

In one article I read recently, four types of sex education were described:

1.  No mention of abstinence

2.  Including abstinence in a comprehensive education

3.  Promoting abstinence as the best option

4.  Abstinence until marriage as the only option

You may want to cover your eyes and put your fingers in your ears for what I have to say next.

People (teenagers included) who want to have sex are going to find a way to have sex unless they are taught different values at home.  That is a fact.  I think of sex education as harm reduction.  If you are unfamiliar with the idea of harm reduction, check it out here.

To deny teenagers sex education about how to prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancies is a lot like not teaching someone how to properly use an oven and then getting angry because they got burned. 

Education does not mean that teenagers must go have sex.  In my Organic Chemistry class I learned how to make some deadly compounds, but I haven't set up a lab in my kitchen. 

Often times the same people I hear ranting about not having a comprehensive sex education in schools are usually the same ones ranting about how they don't want to pay for other people's children with welfare.  My solution?  Give them a condom and teach them how to use it.  

Statistics very clearly show that Abstinence-Only education produces the highest percentage of unwanted teen pregnancies.  Wow.  Surprised? 

The lowest percentage of unwanted teen pregnancies are through the education that promotes abstinence as the best option, but not the only option.

I think the disconnect we face is that many people have no tolerance for others who believe differently from themselves.  We must accept that different families have different values.  Maybe chastity is one family's biggest belief.  Maybe not doing heroin is another family's biggest belief. 

Take home message:  Your children are not the only ones who need an education.  All children need a proper education of how their bodies work.  We need to make that available in public schools because we cannot assume it is being taught in private homes. 

Today's message brought to you by TARGET WOMEN

Props to Sarah Haskins.  Today's material may be a little...  not G rated.  So viewer discretion advised.  Topics covered and made fun of include but are not limited to periods, sex, and strong language.  These are not my videos, but I thought I would post for all to enjoy.  Sarah Haskins has a regular show that is updated via youtube.

This video is about cleaning and its womanly joys.

This is probably my favorite video by Sarah Haskins-  birth control is never advertised as not wanting babies.  It's about period control.  Yay!