Why I Can't Retire My Feminism

I'll be honest, I thought I was finished with the blog. I left the door open again and again but I don't think I ever really thought I would come back to it. I got weary of explaining why we are in fact still desperately in need of feminism just to have accusations fly that I look for trouble or enjoy being different or radical.  It's exhausting.  It is easier to raise children in every day life to appreciate equality than to put oneself out there for all opinions to find.

However.

Friends, my heart is heavy. No, I am not going to discuss the election. That friends, would serve no purpose right now.  All I can hope is that we are all doing our best and leave it right there.  No, friends, my heart is heavy at the sexist (and racist) pride that has been unearthed this election cycle. It does not surprise me that there is a sexist man running for president. What shocks me is how much this experience has normalized sexism. Explanations that confessing to a sexual assault can be chalked up to "locker room talk" ...   I'm truly speechless. To further understand why "locker room talk" is 100% unacceptable, check out another post from 2014, On Virtue and Sexual Harrassment.

Today, I want to shut down my internet.  I am overloaded with microagressions to full-out, head exploding sexism and, believe you me, everything in between.  It hurts my head.

Dear Google and Facebook (and anyone else listening in),

1.  I do not care what men think about me based on how much makeup I am wearing.

If you are wearing this dress,
we need to become friends
immediately.

2.  I do not care how many men want to date me based on the fact that I don't eat animals.
3.  I do not care if another gal is wearing leggings that show her "bum-bum."  Frankly, I don't care what other gals are wearing at all.  Unless it is this dress ---------->
4.  Please stop telling me that if I, as a mother, am not spending enough time with my kids, I will become a regretful, sad old woman, but if I spend too much time with my children I will create monsters who are incapable of fitting in with society.  Being a female parent does not give me superhuman abilities to wade through this BS without becoming incredibly anxious.*
5.  Please stop advertising weight loss products to me. Seriously.  Health and weight loss, while sometimes coinciding are not the same thing.

I could go on. My point, however, can be made in just one more thought.

Trump did not create this sexism-filled environment; he is merely the product of it who somehow got a hold of a megaphone.


*On a side note, there is no perfect parenting. There is good and bad to come out of even the best methods, so I support you doing what works for you.  

On My Kid and TV

Recently I have decided that sitting the kiddo down for a an episode of VeggieTales or The Magic School Bus (or if I am feeling REALLY crazy, an entire Curious George movie) is not the end of the world.  I was a pretty big stickler about not letting him watch any television before age two because my research has led me to understand that television before age two is no good for language development, reading skills, and short term memory.  After two, my personal television worries include:

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1. My kiddo losing interest in activities that involve creative thought.  There were a few kids I used to watch who continually asked, "How do Ezra's toys work?"  "Where is the on button?"  "But what does it do?"  I cannot blame the television entirely for this kind of thought, but I think electronics and television take away a child's need for creative thinking.  I want my kiddo to pretend and make believe.  
2. My kiddo moping around for electronic time all day long.  I really do not want the entire day wasted waiting for the half an hour he is allowed to watch television or play a game.  
3. I will be less able to control my kid's intake of opinions and garbage.  Come on, part of my reasoning for homeschooling is that I do not want garbage opinions and biased (not to mention limited) "facts" being fed to my sponge of a kid.  

On the other hand, my kid is two and half.  There is absolutely nothing that restrains him. Nothing.  There is nothing out of which he cannot climb, unbuckle, or untie himself.  He also has the energy of a labrador puppy (I just saw a really cute video over Christmas of Labradors playing), and has done away with naps at this point.  There is a reason this is called the terrible twos-  it is really trying!  It is hard to do nothing but follow your kid around for twelve straight hours, reminding yourself to say things in your kind but firm voice. "Baby, we don't climb." "Sweetheart, don't sit on the cat."  "Honey, let me distract you with your toys rather than you sit and shred Mama's memory book."  

Quite frankly, my kind but firm voice doesn't have an unlimited battery life. 

When my kind but firm voice battery does start to die, everything bothers me from my kiddo being a two-year-old tornado, to him wanting to rough house with his 5 months pregnant mom, to tripping over toys and those clothes I folded which have now been thrown in the floor.  So.  What do I do?  I let sit the kiddo down and let him watch VeggieTales periodically.  And you know what?  When he is finished, he turns around to a cleaner home, a recharged mom, and usually a new hands-on activity to move on to.   It has actually been good for our family as a whole to have that time.  

Some things that have helped my general concerns for television are:

1.  TV time is not scheduled.  It is not guaranteed.  It is certainly not every day.  TV time is used only when needed, and the husband and I have a set limit on how much media Ezra can consume per week.  

2.  We sit down and both pre-approve any and all media that we consider letting Ezra watch.  No new material thrust upon the kiddo.  Part of my issue is that cartoons are now more than ever incredibly violent.  Now more than ever they are teaching questionable values and sarcastic attitudes.  Something I have to remind myself of as an adult is that many things that are funny on TV at an aesthetic distance are not funny in real life.  You can try, but I think teaching a child about aesthetic distance may be a tough one.  As for our children's media intake, we prefer uplifting, educational material that does not take a sit down lesson on why you should never emulate the on-screen characters.     

3.  Most of what Ezra does watch has a fun musical soundtrack.  That helps when he asks for some media when I don't want him to watch because I can turn on the soundtrack.  For example:  this morning he says, "I want bubble rap!  I want bubble rap!" rather than letting him watch this video, I can just play the song.