Thursday, April 25, 2013

Simple Pleasures: Kid Prayer

E has been a ball of tantrums lately.  Honestly, it can be discouraging, especially when it goes on for a while.  It makes me doubt myself and our choices in parenting.  I have to remind myself that he will grow out of his little child behavior at some point, and what will be left are the lessons he learned.


My simple pleasure?  Watching my child while he folds his arms and talks to God.  I'm not sure whether he understands that he is talking to God or if he is simply mimicking our family prayers, but he folds his arms, says a few words, and finishes with "Amen."

My kid is going to turn out okay.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Thoughts of Female Ordination

Priesthood is something I have struggled with in the past.  I have given some thoughts of mine in Priesthood Does Not Equate Motherhood, but now some new things are cropping up.  The Mormon Feminist (dare I say) movement has been gaining momentum, particularly since two women were chosen to pray in General Conference for the first time.  I was definitely a big supporter of that, and honestly, my feelings are summed up pretty well by thedavidpearson in Why does it matter who prayed?

However, as glorious as those new pieces of women's involvement are, they are now accepted, and it's time to move forward.  But to what?  For many a Mofem, the focus has become ordination to the priesthood.
www.ordainwomen.org
Imagine you are on a hike, and just up ahead you saw a large rock.  As you get closer, you realize that a person is being held down by that rock.  You run to the person and begin trying to help in any manner you can, but soon realize that you cannot help without a particular tool with which to move the rock.  Now, you must run several miles to go find someone with that tool to help this person.  Wouldn't it have been helpful if you had the tool?  That's how I imagine the priesthood.  It's this tool I could use to help people around me but I am not allowed to use it.  And frequently, I have to wait hours for a priesthood holder to be available.  By then, the window of opportunity has passed.

www.cbsnews.com
There are a lot of traditional LDSaints crying blasphemy as Mofems who dare desire the priesthood speak up.  This is inappropriate.  It was only after Emma Smith brought to Joseph's attention that tobacco was foul to clean up that he received the Word of Wisdom, so I don't know why it is that far fetched and criminal within the church for women to campaign for revelation pertaining to them.  I watched a snippet of President Hinkley's interview on 60 minutes a week or so ago, and when asked about why blacks were only allowed to hold then priesthood  since 1978, his response was, "That's behind us."  It doesn't take much for me to imagine the same thing said in twenty years about female ordination.  "Let's not rehash that;  it's behind us."

Another direction I have heard this taken in is that women want to be in positions of authority in the church.  I don't know if that is as true as women want women to be in positions of authority in the church.  Since the church is very attuned to innate spiritual differences between men and women in the church, wouldn't that suggest that women have a certain element to add to decision making and policy within the church?  I do not want to be a bishop, but if I needed to speak with my bishop about hard times in my life, I should love having a female bishop who can understand in a way a man cannot the feminine aspects of my life and journey.  

I don't want the responsibilities of the priesthood.  Speaking personally rather than as a female representative, I have a lot on my plate.  Not having the priesthood allows me time to seek those who need my help rather than being contracted for a specific type of help;  For example:  J uses his priesthood most commonly to conduct baptisms and give blessings.  There are a lot of chances for him to do both these things, so it adds up to a lot of time and service.  However, I don't have those two particular jobs calling my name, so I am free to look for where I am needed; to fill in the gaps so to speak.  Rather than give two blessings and conduct one meeting in a week, I might be able to watch someone's kids, make a meal, and run an errand.  In a way I feel like Heavenly Father trusts me a whole lot to allow me unstructured time to care for his sheep.

I have read and reread this post, and I have asked myself, what is the point of this post?  My point is that rather than accuse those with questions and demean and damn those who need clarification, pray for them.  Understand them.  Empathize.  If you have never been left out due to your race, gender, ethnicity, etc., it may be hard for you to do this.  Nevertheless, I know our men, our husbands, our brothers, our sons, and our fathers want good things for us.  I know that our fellow sisters want good things for us.  And I know we all want light and truth.  Rather than chastising one another for a lack of understanding, we should pray for one another's understanding.  Pray for peace in the answer that has come, will come, and/or will come in the future.  

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Simple Pleasure: Breakfast

In a world full of so much turmoil (like the world becoming a modern day book of Ether), sometimes I find it best to focus on simple pleasures.


For example, a delicious tomato sandwich, complete with big, beautiful tomatoes, homegrown lettuce, mayo, and wheat bread topped with sea salt and cracked pepper.  What a an awesome breakfast.

What are your simple pleasures?

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Mom of the Stay At Home Variety

Living in the same town I grew up in means it is fairly common for me to run into people I used to know, which leads to the exchange of where-are-you-now's.

Me:  What are you up to these days?  
Old Friend:  I just graduated from *blank* school, and now I am working at *blank* office.  I am working towards all my dreams coming true.  I am fantastic (Okay, this may be exaggerated, but most of my friends are doing really well, and I am really glad for them).  What are you doing these days?
Me:  Well, I have a little boy who is almost two, and I am a full time mom and homemaker.  
**awkward moment**
Old Friend:  Oh.  That's cool.  Are you planning on working when he's in school?  / What made you want to do that when you went to school for so long?  / Another question about our childcare choices.



picture taken from soulsneverwrinkle
These conversations (that I actually love because my friends are genuinely amazing) have inspired this post in which I will talk about why I personally chose my child(ren)'s upbringing and education
as my life career.

I have always loved the idea of working* at home.  In the second grade I wanted to be a rancher where my work started as soon as my feet hit the ground.  I drew pictures of my ranch, the layout of my crops and animals, and even designed my own house where apparently everyone I have ever met was going to live.  Over the next ten years I developed other interests.  I loved trigonometry and physics.  I love biology and ROTC.    That is why it may be surprising that when my 12th grade English teacher had us write papers on what we wanted to be whenever we were finished with our schooling, I wanted to be a SAHM.  While I was trying to write my paper, I admitted, somewhat embarrassed, to my mom that what I wanted was to raise my kids.  My mom told me she understood but helped direct me to what my teacher actually wanted of me.

By the time I was 21, I was dating my husband.  Our dating was fun and lighthearted at times, but we also asked the tough questions and made real decisions in a very short amount of time (I guess that's pretty much the way of it when you become engaged after four months of dating...but I digress).  As we began on the topic of children, he stated very plainly that he wanted one of us to stay home with our children.  He said that he would prefer that I would stay home, but he understood that I might prefer that he stay home.**  And so it was decided that for the majority of our kids formative years, my vocation would be them.

At the time I made that decision, in my mind being a SAHM meant that as long as the kids' bums and faces were clean and everyone was fed, my job was done.  However, after having a child, I came to realize and appreciate that there is So. Much. More.  I have been able to set the tone for my child's life and let him grow at his own pace.  I get to give him individual attention.  I get to know his little personality outside of meal time and bath time.  It is amazing to me how knowing little nuances of his personality help me to adjust my mothering to him.
taken from bellybootcamp
I am also very excited about the prospect of home school.  I love the idea of catering the entire learning curriculum to my son and our family than sending him into a school where
a) the curriculum will be very general which means he either need extra attention or he will be bored.  Either way, that can be avoided if I get to teach him at home.
b) I cannot control who goes in or out.  Or who had guns.  Or who points one at my child(ren).
c)  I can lodge complaints but cannot stop or start what is being taught or not being taught to my son (Politics should not be taught in school, but it's crazy how hand in hand the two are).

On the other hand, I am able to pursue whatever else I want.  I don't have a nine-to-five that doesn't allow me a cellphone call or internet access.  Since becoming a SAHM, I have learned to garden, make lotions and soaps, and craft stuffed animals.  I have done sociology research, volunteer work, and been a Primary teacher for church.  If I had a job outside of my house, I really wonder when I would able to follow my open ended dreams of learning everything possible.

But how can I be feminist and stay at home with my kiddo?  That's easy.  Remember that feminism is not necessarily forcing everyone to do what men do but to have the opportunity.  Feminism is the fact that my husband wanted one us to stay home rather than dictating that it had to be me.  I feel the feminist view on SAHMs is to respect them more and honor that this job held primarily by women is not an easy or glamorous task.  It should be given the credit it deserves.  

Debunk the funk:  Synonyms of the Stay At Home Mom

Housewife:  This term irks me.  Maybe it's because of all the media surrounding housewives these days, but the term feels demeaning.  It gives me the impression of a pet one buys to take out at certain times to play with and then put back.  Eww, gross.  The same goes for trophy wife.  Just don't.
Breeder:  Umm...  this just makers me think of The Giver's birth mothers who were not held in high esteem.  It is both demeaning in that it gives low reverence to bringing forth new life and supposing that birthing is all that is done by a SAHM.  
Living a life of luxury:  Well, that's just inaccurate.  I spend my days sweaty while my son runs around the park, covered in food from three meals being thrown around the kitchen, and changing diapers.  Weirdly, kid poop does not seem all that luxurious to me.   
Homemaker: I can get on board with this.  Not so much in the physical sense of the word "home," but I create the feeling of home by meeting the physical needs and emotional needs of my child(ren).  
Domestic engineer:  This is what my job title is on any tax forms or legal paperwork I fill out.   The word itself means I construct the home life, so in essence, it's a fancy title for homemaker.  


* I do not equate the word "work" with the definition of being paid to a job.  "Work" is doing a job for an specific outcome.  Sometimes that outcome is monetary, most times it is not.

**Declarations like this make me love my husband about 1000 times even more than I already do.  

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